But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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