i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
