Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
