I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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