So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
