do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
