Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
