Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
