Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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