i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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