Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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