Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So vagazzling was a success
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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