I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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