Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
