Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
