Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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