I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
