Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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