i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
