Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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