You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I need to calm my uterus...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
