I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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