The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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