I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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