i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
