omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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