Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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