He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
