So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
