so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
