bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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