I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
is it fun? or sober?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
