whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
