I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
