just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Girls should come with a carfax report
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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