is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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