I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize