Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
