So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
