My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Alive.
So much puke
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
