And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize