So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
