wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
