Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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