I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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