the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
