so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
