I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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