I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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