I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
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The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
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My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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