I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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