I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
