The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
