I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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