So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Its about making memories worth repressing
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
