Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just saw the nastiest chick.
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES