I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
