Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
