Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
