member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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