Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
