Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
