I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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