You're so nebulous sometimes
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
