I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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