hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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