then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
