i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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