I wish I could punch you in the face.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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