it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize