Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
