can u get pink eye on your cock?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
