My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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